it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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