drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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