Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
