brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
please come you make the beer taste better
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No more Irish car bombs ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
