I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
