just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
