Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize