I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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