vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Mom said you looked used
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
