I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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