I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
