ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
