He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the condom got lost in my hair
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
