i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
