Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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