I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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