I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
