I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
