Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
did you just send me my own nude
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
