I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
