I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
wow bdsm is so cute
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
