so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
