dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
