What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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