this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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