You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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