We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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