What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
