the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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