so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
