Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
