Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
So squirting runs in the family.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
