is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize