I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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