he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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