No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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