Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
