AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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