In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
