Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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