My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
