you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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