its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
