I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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