Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This is my gift to your gina
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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