Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
