hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
