Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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