I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The air was thick with penises
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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