how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
