i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
